Sunday, October 23, 2011

Best Week Ever

The Biggest Loser: Season 11, Week 5 Recap
By Jessica Ferri

Anna Kournikova may only have two surviving team members left, but she’s giving them her all, telling Becky that her intensity was “fucking amazing,” resulting in a lot of blurred mouth shots in the gym. But Anna’s other teammate Bonnie felt slighted, claiming that Anna favors Becky. “Anna brings anger out of me that I’ve never felt before,” Bonnie explained. We can’t imagine why.

Meanwhile, Sunny had won the first challenge, giving her a week home in Frisco, Texas. (Anna was thankful none of her team had won the challenge, because that would mean going to Mississippi or Arkansas and that “would be nerve-wracking.”) The bad news was that Sunny had to take Bob with her, and that her weight would be the only number that would count for the Black team at the weigh-in. Needless to say, her workouts were intense, and involved carrying sacks of horse feed up stairs, amusing a group of withered cowboys nearby.

Sunny exacted her revenge by making Bob ride the mechanical bull in front of her friends and family. Even though Bob acted like he was being forced into it, he was an expert rider and never fell off, much to no one’s surprise.

Back at the “ranch,” Vinny introduced everyone to Cecil, his stomach.

Dolvett was not amused.

The next challenge involved carrying apple-tini glasses filled with orange soda across an obstacle course. You should probably put down that 20-ounce bottle of soda, which contains 17 teaspoons of sugar, by the way.

Zeta Jones makes everything look easy.

In actuality, the challenge was pretty difficult. Bonnie “Son of a Bugger,” fell down and almost couldn’t get up. The red team finally prevailed over the Black team, and won their very first challenge.

Antone, of the Black team, claimed their loss had to do with their lack of teamwork, emphasizing that Jennifer’s emotional problems held them back. “That girl needs a whole team of doctors. Dr. Laura, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and hell, even Dr. Dre.”

Stay tuned for week six with a very special celebrity expert . . .